Relationship Trend (Zip-Coding)

Keep tabs of the world around even if you zip-code

Zip-coding dating pattern prompts people to seek and chase partners from a relatable community and within an area that’s just a stone’s throw away. It is a throwback to those black-and-white manual, affable times — much opposed to today’s mechanical, robotic life. Whether the frequency of ‘meeting and greeting’ your date outshines the trouble of tackling traffic snarls before reaching the assignation point, only time will tell. Both veterans and Gen Z-ites share their freewheeling views on this seemingly rising trend. Read on…

By PRAMITA BOSE

Decoding zip-coding

Contrary to a plethora of dating styles in practice, zip-coding in the domain of modern mating attaches more importance to the proximity-first factor. Lonely hearts and eager daters specifically hunt partners dwelling pretty close by, such as on the same premises flanking a corridor, in the same block, shared by a common postal code or in the adjoining locality. Thus, the ‘duo in amour’ seems to be always joined at the hip and can’t really get enough of each other.

While some are warming up to this fad, others are still wondering about its significance and relevance in today’s times. Let’s dive deep to understand the process from soups to nuts.

“Love language along with its expression continues to vary and evolve from time to time. A cohort of readers will favour Cinderella romances, fantasising a damsel in distress to be swept off her feet by a knight in the shining armour, whereas the rest looks to happily cheer for the ‘Tinderellas’ swiping right and left to pick their prince charming from the cyber swayamvar,” opines English Literature lecturer Bindu Vyas.

Retro romance

“What is interesting is that zip-coding can spur relatable experiences and repeat encounters. The allure comes from pace, intention and effort, not just living nearby. A site can build a setting but romance is ignited by an impressive behaviour and attitude. Also, how invested the partners are in a relationship determines how long their chemistry will last,” notes life coach Vasudha Jha.

“I grew up in a block of flats where four families across the building got introduced as total strangers. Within months, nobody’s door was shut. All were welcoming and accommodating. Those same faces are still the first ones at my doorstep today, even 40 odd years later for anything good or bad,” fondly reminisces life coach Krishnan Parameswaran.

Love thy neighbour

Can the girl or a boy next door or someone residing at a hop, skip, and a jump’s distance vow to be on the same page always?

“Someone living nearby might make it hassle-free to spend time together but that doesn’t guarantee shared interests or being on an identical plane. Emotional link, fair communication, common philosophy and principles cover a myriad miles than the physical distance,” perceives 25-year-old PR executive Shikha Jha.

The voice of the 21^st century youth doesn’t tilt towards a particular side blindly. It weighs the pros and cons before arriving at a conclusion.

Delhi-based youngster Gaurav Jain convinces that “your beloved next door might share your morning jogging trail but not your life’s preset goals. Similar passions are nurtured through conversations and pure chemistry, not just a common postal code.”

Leave the shell, fly overseas

Does the Gen Z approve such a relationship trend, which confines people to a particular region and narrow their out-and-about vision?

“I don’t think so. The Gen Z is globally wired, fiercely individualistic and borderless by nature,” pat comes Jain’s reply.

“You can’t tame them or suppress their feelings by barbed fences. They would see zip-coding as romantic gatekeeping. They refuse to live in a cocoon. Rather they’d swipe right for the profiles scattered across continents before settling for someone across the street,” he reveals.

Present-day youth is generously liberal when it comes to relationships. While some may enjoy the thrill of dating locally, others would appreciate the freedom to connect with people from different provinces or even countries. It’s less about restriction and more about personal preferences, say behavioural pattern experts.

Shadow of gloom looms on

A chunk of daters may find zip-coding quite exciting as it enables tapping someone from among its colony friends or eyeing an eligible bachelor/spinster from the circle of remote relatives. One has an edge here as it offers a clear idea about the potential date’s background details. This is far better than conversing with unknown pals on chatting platforms who could be a toxic assailant from the dark web world.

Relationship experts feel that nothing in this world is ever foolproof. When someone is let in through a known circle, there’s already an informal background check running to identify him/her as either risky or reliable. A friend vouches for that person, a family member knows his/her near relations or whereabouts and somebody is believed to have already seen their reactions when the chips are down. So, all that vetting matters.

“For me personally, no reference replaces the gut reading. The moment I meet someone — professionally or otherwise — I’m already putting that individual under a scrutiny. The eye contact, how one carries oneself, whether that stranger speaks to you or at you, all are reckoned with. That’s not dubbed prejudice but pattern recognition built over the years of dealing with people,” elucidates Parameswaran.

“The dark web danger is real for sure. But I think the bigger peril people underestimate is the curated profile that perfectly packages someone online who’s completely different in person, say for instance, catfishing poses a huge threat. On the flip side, an acknowledged flock at least gives you an unfiltered version,” he insists.

Slow and steady wins the race

Often people call this zip-coding’s biggest underrated advantage. It is said that when your potential partner is positioned nearby, you’re not aiming at a one-shot date you drove across the city for. Rather you two exist in the same space and can go the whole hog.

“Things develop at their own beat and tempo. There’s no pressure to make something happen in just three hours because the last train is at eleven,” shoots middle-aged marketing professional Amrita Nag.

Modern dating has this exhausting urgency to “decide, move and brand the status fast”, grouse relationship guides. Zip-coding naturally slackens that down because there’s no gulf to be bridged and that removes the pressure of losing someone closer to your heart.

“You’ll bump into your love interest again — may be tomorrow or later next week. That breathing room is where the real compatibility actually creeps in and reveals itself, and that too never in an artificial manner — say at a designed dinner conversation. True passion blossoms in a hundred small unremarkable leisurely moments that only happen when two people share the same landscape,” claims Parameswaran.

Small-town and big-city clash

Many maintain that zip-coding reflects more of a small town mentality than an urban propensity as in the former case, people know almost every other person staying in a clustered community, while in the latter scene, people don’t even bother to recognise neighbours from contiguous apartments due to lack of time, claustrophobic lifestyles or their busy, daily rosters.

“I guess this is more about social structure than mindset,” reminds Vasudha Jha.

“In small towns or in sleepy hamlets, social visibility is much higher, collective memory is way stronger and relationships weave a fabric of deeper interconnectivity. Whereas in metros, a composite cosmopolitan culture is bred, anonymity is pretty perceptible, independence is given greater weightage and the social milieu is controlled by a select few butterflies,” she elaborates.

The slight apathy to zip-coding in cities could be explained as mirroring the image of urban isolation, infers Vasudha Jha. “Meanwhile, this dating pattern under discussion promises more safety and transparency than someone whose life is like a faraway star hidden from the earth,” she attests.

Meanwhile, some may hold that the need for zip-coding custom is far more acute in a city than in a small town.

“It just happens smoothly in a limited location. But in a metro, choosing to date within your direct circle like Whatsapp or other social media groups is actually a conscious effort, a deliberate act,” views Parameswaran.

“Two people may cross each other’s paths inside an elevator every single day and nobody utters a word. They stand with cellphones out and eyes cast down. The mobile-driven emoji-infested lingo has honestly become the perfect alibi for ignoring one-on-ones and injecting loneliness in the corners of our heart. So, it’s a visible challenge to choose zip-coding in a crowded city or any public environment,” he worries.

Power of love

It is said that love has the force to transcend all the barriers of language, nationality, caste, creed, colour, etc. Can then remaining restricted to a specific zone slim the chances of exploring the world outside?

“Absolutely, if treated as a rule rather than a coincidence,” blurts out Jain.

Love that blurs cultural divides is among life’s richest experiences, he feels. “Love’s dynamics are immeasurable. That’s why voluntarily drawing an imaginative romantic margin around your neighbourhood is like reading only the first chapter of a very long, fascinating tale. One must not put blinkers on but pledge to penetrate the uncharted terrains,” he says.

Shikha Jha volunteers that “love isn’t really bound by places. Detaining yourself to a tiny niche might mar the golden possibility of meeting a diverse pack of people.”

The world is your oyster

Thanks to media boom and internet explosion, chatting with innumerable netizens from any nook of the world is just a click away. We can bump into people of all shapes and sizes. Now the world is at our feet. Can then zip-coding be a good idea to keep ourselves secluded from a pool of probabilities?

“In the age of Instagram, DMs, dating apps and universal communities, reining in yourself to a fixed range and criteria feels almost passé. Zip-coding is just a pearl on our oyster bed. Suitability should never outrank adaptability to unmapped prospects,” dispenses Jain.

With the internet shrinking the world within our fists, it only makes sense to survey and discover beyond our local environs. “Zip-coding doesn’t always boil down to alienation. Ideally, it’s about striking a fine balance between keeping all our options open and also valuing what’s dear to us,” signs off Jha.

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