Lifestyle Pick (Cave Syndrome)

 Your Cave is Where Your Heart is 

Are you an urban caveman? Well, the question is directed at those who are comfortably settled in their caves err homes ever since the Covid lockdown was imposed. Surprisingly, the hangover continues as they are habituated with their take-it-easy pace, domestic rhythm and a set lifestyle. Some others naturally cling to their caves for the fear of socialising and facing the unpredictable pragmatic world. Call this cave syndrome or what you will, find out how is this modern-day concept brewing?

 

By PRAMITA BOSE

Marco started working from home during the Covid era like most office goers had. As the pandemic died down, he switched to hybrid mode, shifting between onsite and online work logs. But before he could completely ready himself to commute and report for duty in person on a daily basis, he backpedalled to his WFH ways. Over time, he realised that he felt more convenient performing his job from the comforts of his home. Today, he delivers full time either from his house or a co-working space nearby and still earns efficiency rewards as an employee.

Marco’s is not an isolated case. Many like him are fond of their personal caves and stay happy and relaxed in their painstakingly built zone.

Safe in ‘one’s cave’

From pampering with grooming essentials akin to a beauty salon; meditating for a detox; chilling out with friends over delish snacks, mugs of steaming coffee and an entertaining movie; reading books, browsing the net, surfing TV channels, binge-watching favourite series like a couch potato, doomscrolling on news portals, posting reels and pictures on Pinteresty sites; video-chatting or texting non-stop on virtual apps, checking the social media feeds to simply dozing off during the day to de-stress — all this and much more you could do in your habitat that you consider your sukoon ghar (room for relaxation). It is like a haven far from the madding crowd, secluded in serenity.

Iglooing

Sometimes you need to be like the aboriginal Eskimo — the Inuit and the Yupik of the Arctic region — and lie low to recalibrate the order of things in your life. This grants you the much-wanted repose and respite from the hustle culture and lets you come back with a fresh mood to reboot after a hiatus.

This ‘dwelling in a cave’ behavioural pattern depicts a psychological situation where sticking to a relatable domain — mostly home — feels a lot safer, cosier and much fuss-free than confronting the harsh, practical world outside.

Many are thus addicted to the cave syndrome by default and never really feel the inclination to leave home after being forced to stay there for an extended period like during the corona-era lockdown. Now they consider it their safest and the most comfortable zone. Is this behavioral trend psychological? 

Author, CXO coach and TedX speaker Parinita Kothari narrates that “I’m reminded of a client who hadn’t walked out of his house even years after the Covid lockdown had ended. When his organisation lifted the ‘work from home’ rule, he became overwhelmed thinking of the worst eventualities and finally quit his job. After cooling off for a few months with no work, he accepted another remote role at half the pay. In fact, he was willing to give up a decent job and a significant part of his income because leaving home and taking the bull — external world’s challenges — by the horns felt more frightening to him. Truth is, when phobia begins to shape such major life choices, one needs to seek compassion and professional support.” 

Island of isolation

Are you a procrastinator…as someone who frequently bunks classes, shirks duties, keeps cancelling or deferring plans with friends and family, be always iffy about your actions or dilly-dally at lot while deciding on anything? Then we caught you in the spotlight. This ‘playing truant’ tendency prompts a gaggle of people to coil up in their coops like caged chickens. In the worst-case scenario, this could even aggravate to clamming up in a space that shuts the world entirely out. Those who are introverts, they reportedly suffer such symptoms in private. 

Reaching out

Is it normal for mankind to live with a silo mentality and cut off all ties with the surrounding society as an uncontacted race? After all human bonhomie is conducive to healthy living. 

Even communities, she observes, that live apart from the wider society like the tribal folks who stick to their own clan and guard it well, enter into mating relationships and have companionship within their own cluster. “There is a difference between choosing a quieter life and becoming totally disconnected from others,” she deduces. 

Cubicle life

Adhering to an unhealthy, sedentary lifestyle, people are now crammed into AC-controlled compartments sealed with tight solid partitions. Expressing apprehension, life coaches entreat their patients to apply brakes on their mundane schedule and hit the road, visiting people and places or melting into the soothing green nature’s beautiful biodiversity.

Making one’s home his/her workstation is no longer out of the ordinary. But aligning with the same atmosphere at length for an indefinite spell could trigger monotony, depression and stress, claim mental health vigilants. One might feel suffocated and would want to reach out to the next-door neighbour to have a dialogue with and diversify his hackneyed, repetitive tasks. 

“When the same space holds every meeting, deadline and household responsibility, it becomes difficult to separate each day with a different memory. If your days begin to roll out feeling dull or lonely, then that reaction deserves to be addressed,” opines Kothari. 

A leisurely stroll, a conversation with an acquaintance or having a cup of tea with a friend to share with and care for can bring a little silver lining and something to look forward to. “These moments remind us that life has room for some other notable elements than mere work and responsibilities. Sometimes, we need to sidestep the core of things that we manage and simply enjoy being ourselves,” she fathoms. 

Solo trip

At times, this attitude of insularity and detachment could even mar near relationships. This is because one may gawk at the very thought of hobnobbing with others as that could take a huge toll on him/her, thus leaving them absolutely sapped of all energies. In an age, which is so severely plagued with the obsessive selfie culture and self-centred activities, interactions are predictably and despairingly reduced to small screens and smartphones with just a handful of pals to count on. 

But the irony is that despite hordes of heads surrounding you every minute, very few you may dub your ‘bros and besties’ to fall back on when the chips are down. People will either talk shop or do small talks but never strike a personal chord with impactful conversation. The networking sites have only thrown up a swarm of more unknown friends than the known foes. You remain an anonymous wandering vessel in the digital ocean of masked faces with no true or trustworthy companion to approach, acknowledge and partner with. 

Creative economy

With gig and orange economy giving rise to droves of freelancers and content creators in the job sector, self-made professionals with independent mindsets attach greater value to remote roles and self-sufficiency. 

“I’ve turned reclusive of late. I even shun office parties and prefer doing my own things like a lone wolf. I’m fond of my personal space and freedom to be honest,” confides Subhodeep Sengupta, a techie from Bangalore. “Since am also a passionate short filmmaker at an amateur level, I keep hatching script ideas, shooting with my handycam, journaling my thoughts and insights, and introspecting with a deepened focus,” he further chips in. 

Many singletons nowadays indulge in solomaxxing by chasing their hobbies and spending quality ‘me time’ in calm silence. Even artists vouch for the fact that art is a profession best pursued in solitude and mostly prefer unwinding themselves in their ateliers or rooftop painting studios or at plush penthouses for creative efflorescence by cutting the surrounding cacophony and environmental pollution. 

Oasis of peace

It’s no harm to be in a bubble if you wrap a shawl of positivity and happiness around you. What if some people find certain places on earth to be their oasis of peace and make sure to always hang out there? Is this harmful or permissible once in a while? 

Middle-aged Ramola has been catering a home-delivery service for close to two decades now to residences, PGs as well as offices — packing breakfast, lunch and dinner boxes for all. She runs the business from her backyard with an adjacent kitchen, especially constructed for this, plus an open-air space to light the mini portable gas stove if need be as a backup cooking source. 

From relying on a steady flow of monthly income that gave her economic independence to indulging in her leisurely hobbies like crocheting, pottery making, glass painting or baking cakes and scones during off season when order placement is low, the roadside mansion’s matriarch loves to laze in her shell feeding her Golden Retriever pet.

“It’s a joy to be in your lair all day surrounded by all things that you love most. Except a few unavoidable errands, I hardly venture out. My morning walk followed by a tea break also happens on the lush lawns bordering the patio behind my house,” she concedes.

Saanvi took up her travel-agent husband’s extra workload to reduce his burden a bit. She was already a full-time homemaker-cum-mom of a toddler and now she has another part-time job at hand.

“I basically try to streamline his work and clip the loose ends so that nothing is left pending on the weekends. As it is, my little one keeps me on toes. On top of that, I’m now busy with another task,” she shoots. “Yes, my routine has little room for a breather but I’m managing somehow. You gotto do a balancing act and to that end, you may have to stay put in your nest. From early morning till night before I hit the sack, my clock revolves around both household chores and my professional commitment,” she reveals with no plaintive tone. “I enjoy being at home in my own cushy space and the world that I wove around it,” she gladly gushes.

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